Sunday, July 22, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Emptiness
Here I am at home, sipping this awful luo han guo tea to bring down the heatiness in my body cause I'm on the verge of getting a sore throat. And lunch is a packet of biscuit sticks. And did I mention? I'm really all alone now. Bf out of town with his cousins, whole family's out (each have their own business to mind) and yup, I'm practically alone at home on a Saturday so I resorted to surfing FB the whole time from I'm awake till now.
I used to be so happy! And when I get older, I just start thinking more and more.
Relationship used to be so much more sweeter and simpler.
Health seemed better.
I used to be much thinner.
Times were happy.
Just feel like as I grow older, things start to affect me more. More anxiety attacks, longer emotional roller coaster and more worries about my back condition. Greater expectations on everyone and putting on pressure on myself to become a better person. Sigh. Nothing can make me truly happy now.
Why so emo? I don't know either. I just wanna be happy.
I used to be so happy! And when I get older, I just start thinking more and more.
Relationship used to be so much more sweeter and simpler.
Health seemed better.
I used to be much thinner.
Times were happy.
Just feel like as I grow older, things start to affect me more. More anxiety attacks, longer emotional roller coaster and more worries about my back condition. Greater expectations on everyone and putting on pressure on myself to become a better person. Sigh. Nothing can make me truly happy now.
Why so emo? I don't know either. I just wanna be happy.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
And so I dyed my hair
Yup! Bet ya figured it out from the post title. Finally had my hair done and I'm pretty happy about the results! So... I've been contemplating if I should cut and dye my hair for the past 6 months (considering that my hair is extremely long and that it'll cost a bomb and that I'm so poor, I procrastinated for REALLY long) and I finally did!
For the past 2 years (despite the long time I only did my hair twice. Haha) I've been going to Far East to get my hair done at I*con and each time I get my hair done there, I leave satisfied. But I can't afford to go back this time round cause the entire cut, dye and treatment will add up to a whopping $200. Meh. So I tried HairInn at Nex instead! Cut and Dye for $110! Almost half the price! SCORE!
Apologies for the poor quality and overexposed photos (and a awful looking me without make up)but that's the best my HP webcam can do :(
This time round I chose a brighter reddish brown cause I want to try something brighter at least once. I know it looks super safe but to me that's really light already. Haha and oh ya! I chopped my hair straight! No V, U or layers!
And here's the hair with more sun exposure!
Pretty happy with the results but I really have to work on maintaining the hair color since red fades super easily and that I have to go swimming often. Meh.
Been spending a lot recently despite having no money. Need.to.control.spendings!!! And I'm so desperate to sell my burnt orange crochet top from TTR cause it's too short. Any interested parties please let me know!!!!
I know everyone's busy and a lot of people are falling sick! So please do take care everyone :)
Have a great weekend all! (TGIF TOMORROW! YAY!)
For the past 2 years (despite the long time I only did my hair twice. Haha) I've been going to Far East to get my hair done at I*con and each time I get my hair done there, I leave satisfied. But I can't afford to go back this time round cause the entire cut, dye and treatment will add up to a whopping $200. Meh. So I tried HairInn at Nex instead! Cut and Dye for $110! Almost half the price! SCORE!
Apologies for the poor quality and overexposed photos (and a awful looking me without make up)but that's the best my HP webcam can do :(
This time round I chose a brighter reddish brown cause I want to try something brighter at least once. I know it looks super safe but to me that's really light already. Haha and oh ya! I chopped my hair straight! No V, U or layers!
And here's the hair with more sun exposure!
Pretty happy with the results but I really have to work on maintaining the hair color since red fades super easily and that I have to go swimming often. Meh.
Been spending a lot recently despite having no money. Need.to.control.spendings!!! And I'm so desperate to sell my burnt orange crochet top from TTR cause it's too short. Any interested parties please let me know!!!!
I know everyone's busy and a lot of people are falling sick! So please do take care everyone :)
Have a great weekend all! (TGIF TOMORROW! YAY!)
Friday, July 13, 2012
Survived and Angsty
YAY! Ended the first week of the school with a breeze and I'm so proud of myself for swimming twice of my regular today! *throws a fist in the air* Pretty determined about losing weight huh. Not sure if the pasar malam directly below my place is gonna act as external factors that may hinder the process of achieving my goals. Meh.
Outing with my lovely MI people was so comforting cause I know everyone treats each other sincerely and treasures each other so freaking much. I can tell them anything, and I know they will never ever betray me and I can count on them to back me up.
So we went to Rochester Park for a late dinner and awesome desserts. Thanks to Sherman and Jasmine who made a random reservation and picked this restaurant which serves AMAZING food. We had pizzas, roasted chicken and wagyu beef burger and all tasted awesome.
Only downside was that we had to incur additional cost of sparking water before we start our meal. Not sure if we could opt not having it though.
Desserts at 1caramel and we had HTHTs and awesome desserts. Always love my outings with my MI Clique and I'm really sure all of us will be good friends till old age.
The lovely people whom I'm so glad entered my life.
.....And now the unhappy and whiny stuff kicks in.
Sometimes I really wonder how is it possible whereby people just like to depend on connections (whether or not you're close the the person) unabashedly and reap benefits out of people. For whatever reasons, to look and feel good in front of your friends, to make things easier for yourself....whatever. I mean, I would totally feel ashamed and awkward to do something like that but to begin with, I won't. I've seen so many people around me doing things like this and it just irks me, so much and each time someone does it, I just go haywire and start whining like a total b***h and the legendary black face of mine just appears. Sometimes I just hate my guts, which is largely or totally why I turn people off. It's a love-hate relationship.
On the hind side, I got my life back cause I recovered my Blackberry already! Yay to that and outing with boyfriend tomorrow though we have absolutely no plans on what to do. So have fun partying or just simply lazing at home (if you, like me have no plans) on a Friday night or strictly speaking, Saturday morning.
Btw, I'll try to take more pictures and post them up on the blog to make it more interesting! And I've been watching these $20 Make Up Challenge on Youtube and its so interesting!
Outing with my lovely MI people was so comforting cause I know everyone treats each other sincerely and treasures each other so freaking much. I can tell them anything, and I know they will never ever betray me and I can count on them to back me up.
So we went to Rochester Park for a late dinner and awesome desserts. Thanks to Sherman and Jasmine who made a random reservation and picked this restaurant which serves AMAZING food. We had pizzas, roasted chicken and wagyu beef burger and all tasted awesome.
Only downside was that we had to incur additional cost of sparking water before we start our meal. Not sure if we could opt not having it though.
Desserts at 1caramel and we had HTHTs and awesome desserts. Always love my outings with my MI Clique and I'm really sure all of us will be good friends till old age.
The lovely people whom I'm so glad entered my life.
.....And now the unhappy and whiny stuff kicks in.
Sometimes I really wonder how is it possible whereby people just like to depend on connections (whether or not you're close the the person) unabashedly and reap benefits out of people. For whatever reasons, to look and feel good in front of your friends, to make things easier for yourself....whatever. I mean, I would totally feel ashamed and awkward to do something like that but to begin with, I won't. I've seen so many people around me doing things like this and it just irks me, so much and each time someone does it, I just go haywire and start whining like a total b***h and the legendary black face of mine just appears. Sometimes I just hate my guts, which is largely or totally why I turn people off. It's a love-hate relationship.
On the hind side, I got my life back cause I recovered my Blackberry already! Yay to that and outing with boyfriend tomorrow though we have absolutely no plans on what to do. So have fun partying or just simply lazing at home (if you, like me have no plans) on a Friday night or strictly speaking, Saturday morning.
Btw, I'll try to take more pictures and post them up on the blog to make it more interesting! And I've been watching these $20 Make Up Challenge on Youtube and its so interesting!
XOXO people!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Determination
School has reopened earlier this Monday and I've got so many things unsettled. Payment for this semester, printing of notes and my work schedule. It just gets me panicking cause I don't know what to expect. Just need some time to sort out my planning and gain my momentum back.
So this semester I'm pretty determined to set down some ground rules to keep myself on track.
1) Lose 2-4 kg by end of this month
2) No (excessive) shopping
3) Swim 3 days a week for the good of my back
4) Be a better girlfriend
Sigh feeling heavy all of a sudden again. Feel like I'm an underachiever. Imma strive to be a better person. Anyway my blackberry is sent for servicing and will only be fixed in 10 days. Pretty hyped about meeting my MI lovelies tomorrow cause I can always find solace in them :)
Have a good night everyone! XOXO!
So this semester I'm pretty determined to set down some ground rules to keep myself on track.
1) Lose 2-4 kg by end of this month
2) No (excessive) shopping
3) Swim 3 days a week for the good of my back
4) Be a better girlfriend
Sigh feeling heavy all of a sudden again. Feel like I'm an underachiever. Imma strive to be a better person. Anyway my blackberry is sent for servicing and will only be fixed in 10 days. Pretty hyped about meeting my MI lovelies tomorrow cause I can always find solace in them :)
Have a good night everyone! XOXO!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Just woke up from a dream and feeling my inferiority complex rising x1000000. Not a good feeling.
Why so fat?
Why skin so bad?
Why so stupid?
Why so easily forgotten?
Why so... unimportant to anyone?
Whatsapp and FB notifications going on and on last night and woke up to them. But somehow I feel like I don't belong to any. Feel so...empty and heart's feeling all wrenched up now. NO! Hate this "I don't belong anywhere" feeling. Makes me just wanna stay at home and rot to prevent any awkwardness in meet ups. Sigh.
Desperately need to snap out of this dark pit and welcome positivity into my life. Meh.
Have a great day ahead everyone.
Desperately need to snap out of this dark pit and welcome positivity into my life. Meh.
Have a great day ahead everyone.
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